A Hopeful Smile
by xxMusicalMime
Summary: For Gauche Suede, all these fuckers were the same, wanted the same worthless goal, worked for an invisible deity. They were all insane, more insane than he was thought to be. "They'll never break me," he muttered to himself, mustering as much dignity as he could. Rated T for mentions of abuse. Includes some suppressed yaoi... or not. Oneshot. Please R&R!


**A/N: _Hi, guys! So sorry for not updating the other stories. This is just a oneshot, I promise!_**

**_So yes. You're not seeing things.  
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**_This is a Gauche SuedexDr. Thunderland Jr. fic.  
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**_But I toned down the yaoi. You should see what else I've written ;D  
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**_Enough of this. This is not a crack pairing generated two seconds ago. Really, it's not O_o Me and my Gauche ((yes, I'm Dr. Thunderland Jr.)) ship this a long time ago. So there.  
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**_She gave me this idea of Gauche being in an asylum and Thunderland saving him from it the very next day after their session.  
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**_Although I kinda wrote it in a 'prison'-y way.  
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**_Enough chitchat. R&R!~_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gauche Suede, Dr. Thunderland Jr., or Letter Bee/Tegami Bachi. The idea was stolen-slash-borrowed-slash-modified from my Kittycat (Gauche :3). The plot, as well as the character Blaze, belong to me.  
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* * *

How many months has it been since he was thrown into this torturous situation?

Gauche Suede looked up at the dank ceiling of his cell, his arms beneath his head as he lied down on his lumpy and damp bed. A sheen of sweat covered his entire body from the last 'session' with yesterday's doctor. The albino shivered. _Never again,_ he thought.

It had been an hour after midnight, and he had overheard that the next doctor won't be coming for him for about two more hours. Shrugging, he had resigned himself to sleep, only for his thoughts to become jumbled up with fatigue and bitterness.

Here was Gauche Suede, a former Letter Bee, who was shooting straight for the position of Head Bee before he got supposedly abducted, brainwashed, and trained to become a member of Reverse. He had been renamed as 'Noir' and was feared to be one of the most active Marauders in the whole of Amberground. He was the main axle that made the wheels and cogs turn so that Reverse could accomplish their goal – infiltrate the Capital and shut down the man-made sun.

Of course, Reverse won. The government had no chance against the Cabernet, an ancient Gaichuu Noir himself revved to life once again. Many people lost their hearts in the Cabernet's surprise attack. Lawrence's group didn't shut down the manmade sun, exactly, but they had about 85% control over it. They were still working out the kinks.

Until one day, he had his memories return to him in an accident. Suddenly, he was Gauche Suede. And, as equally sudden, he was thrown into prison with the other "war captives" for treason.

And here was Gauche Suede, being tortured, starved, whipped, poisoned, and raped for the fun of it all.

He shivered and rolled to one side, groaning. Bruises new and old on his hips and torso made him want to scream out in pain. The hickeys the old lecher gave him made his skin crawl whenever he looked in the cracked and smoky mirror. His purple eyes were bloodshot from crying – both in pain and (guilty) pleasure – and his pale skin had become even paler. His white hair had grown out into a mess, uncombed for at least a dozen days.

He couldn't care any less what his appearance would be, or what impression he might give to his next doctor. For him, all these fuckers were the same, wanted the same worthless goal, worked for an invisible deity. They were all insane, more insane than he was thought to be.

"They'll never break me," he muttered to himself, mustering as much dignity as he could.

"Gauche? You're still awake?" A voice murmured sleepily through the bars of his cell, and Gauche sprang up. He crawled over to where the light flickered dimly, but gave enough to shed light upon the inhabitant of the cell parallel to his.

"Sorry to wake you up, Blaze," he answered regretfully, looking at his fellow prisoner's dark and soulless eyes. Blaze, as she was called, was one of the first ones thrown into this hell. She had uneven dark hair splashed with gray on some parts due to stress. Her skin was sallow and yellowish from the lack of light. She was once a kind of 'noble' in Akatsuki, the capital city, but was thrown into Reverse's prison after she rejected Lawrence's proposal of marriage. She had been maltreated and starved ever since, but never sexually abused. Other prisoners disliked her for her good fortune, but Gauche didn't mind. He knew Blaze had been subjected more to mental torture, and has become more unhinged each passing day.

"It's all right, bino," Blaze replied, picking at her long, yellowing nails. "I'm wide awake now."

"Again, I apologize." Gauche pursed his lips, a bit annoyed.

"Nah. Punishment's coming this way, anyway. I'll let you savor your free hours while they last."

"Punishment?"

"The Doctor visiting you today," she scoffed. "I know him."

"And?" The albino snapped back, raising an eyebrow. "What of him?"

"Don't you know him? Or at least, remember? He's your companion in the Bee Hive in Yuusari! By gods, Suede, I thought you'd have at least remembered an ally!"

"Just tell me who he is!"

Blaze stared at him and growled. "Dr. Thunderland Jr. One of the most feared Doctors in the whole of Amberground. Ring a bell?"

Gauche balefully shook his head. "Could you at least tell me a little of my – ah – visitor?"

"Gladly." Blaze had her blank eyes stare at the wall as she recounted. "Dr. Thunderland Jr. is quite known as the Corpse Doctor. He's crazy about dissection. His intelligence and skill should never be underestimated, especially when he takes after his father, Dr. Thunderland Sr. Oh, he'll make you scream so high and loud and he'll make you go crazy."

"In other words?"

"You're fucked," Blaze cackled evilly as she slipped back into the darkness of her room.

Gauche growled. "As though I wasn't fucked for seven months now!"

His response was greeted with silence, and the albino sighed as he walked back to his bed. Dr. Thunderland Jr.? It was surely familiar… A warm smile, a touch that was both foreign and familiar... He shivered. Whatever his memories told him, this Thunderland guy was a Doctor. And all Doctors in the world were the same.

"He'll get a piece of me later on," he muttered as he sank back down. Smirking impishly, he drifted off to sleep, half-formed ideas of castrating this Thunderland bloke giving him a moment's satisfaction.

* * *

"He must be really tired from yesterday." A low voice startled Gauche Suede awake. He looked up blearily and could make out a form about a feet away, holding something in his hands. As he blinked the sleep away from his eyes, he noticed that his visitor had arrived.

"Oh! Did I wake you up?" Dr. Thunderland Jr. muttered, blinking in panic and surprise. He had smoky white hair like Gauche, only darker by a shade or two. It was spiked up and back naturally. He wore a white lab coat that smelled (oddly) like lavender. Underneath the coat were some black pants and a sweater vest over a polo shirt. But what most attracted Gauche's attention was the black eyepatch covering the Doctor's right eye.

"I…" Gauche blinked and stuttered, his voice suddenly failing. What the hell was going on?

"Sorry," the Doctor said sheepishly. He raised his arms a bit, and the albino noticed that he was carrying a tray. "I bought you breakfast. I know you're hungry and that they starve you – "

"I'm not hungry," Gauche inserted, punching his stomach, who had growled greedily at the scent and mention of food.

"Your body says otherwise," Thunderland jibed, laughing softly and placing the tray on the bed. "Now, let's see… I don't want to shock your stomach so I brought some bread and butter. Oh, and of course, a nice cold pitcher of water and some hot soup!"

"Get away from me! I don't want your help and your food!"

Thunderland looked up at him, blinking owlishly. "What? Why not?"

"Don't play coy, Mister Thunderland!" Gauche yelled in a condescending tone, cringing away from the Doctor in disgust. "I know your methods! You come inside my cell, acting nice, trying to win my good side! You bring in a tray of food, oh, you know our weaknesses so well! Perhaps you spiked some arsenic in the bread, no? Or you mixed some kind of aphrodisiac with the soup, or with the water! Well, ha-ha! You're not making a fool out of me, Doctor!"

A minute of silence passed after this rant, and Gauche fumed as he curled up in a ball in the little corner of his bed. After what seemed like decades of staring at each other, Thunderland laughed loudly, catching the albino by surprise.

"Brilliant!" He roared, clutching his stomach as he almost lost balance. "Goddess, I missed laughing this hard!"

"I… what... NO!" Gauche shouted in frustration. "You should be angry! You should be kicking me like a helpless dog!"

The Doctor's laughter stopped too abruptly. "W-why would I do that?"

"You're a Doctor! That's what you people do!"

"I… what?!" Doctor Thunderland screamed indignantly. "You think I would do something lowly like that?!"

"How can I know you won't?" Gauche asked sarcastically.

"We Doctors follow the Hippocratic Oath! We can't just do stuff that way! Doctors help people, but they need their trust! _I_ need your trust!"

"How can I trust you that you would help me and not treat me badly?" The albino asked, feeling his words get bitter.

"How can I help you and NOT treat you badly if you don't trust me?" Thunderland retorted.

Another chasm of silence.

There was a kind of scuffling outside their cell, and Gauche had no time to react before Doctor Thunderland had pounced on him and had clamped his hand on the albino's mouth.

"Do you really want to know what we Doctors wanna do?" He whispered into Gauche's ear in a low, sultry voice.

Gauche moaned and blushed furiously. His feet kicked into the air and he bit into Thunderland's hand, which quickly receded with a yelp. "Unhand me! No! Do not want!" he screamed, his limbs flailing. He saw a shadow slink back from outside his cell, and as soon as the mysterious figure was gone, Thunderland's hand went slack against his mouth.

"Phew," he sighed, relieved. "That was close. You sure are a feisty one – "

CRACK!

Thunderland doubled over, clutching his groin, which had been kicked into the next century by an angry albino.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, YOU NITWIT!" Gauche yelled angrily, pushing the weak Doctor against the wall. "See?! You doctors are all the same, wanting to get some free jailbait ass, eh?"

"N-no! It's… not like that…" The Doctor gasped, paling. "Oh, dear Goddess, that hurt…"

"Ha! Bad luck for you!" Gauche snarled, an inch from the Thunderland's face. "And if it wasn't for the fact that you wanted to rape me right there and then, what could possibly be another reason for you to act like that?"

"Guards…" Thunderland rasped, panting in short breaths. "They were getting suspicious at how you answered me… with a raised voice and with so much freedom… They thought that I was having trouble subduing you…" He sighed. "So when they were outside, I made them think that I was raping you. And you performed your part of this little play well… You reacted like I was really going to hurt you. And that cleared any doubt off their minds…"

Gauche blinked, confused. "Why would you do that?"

"I can't help you with them breathing on my neck, waiting for me to torture you." He shivered. "I'll never do that. I'll never hurt you. How can I?"

"You're the bloody Corpse Doctor!"

"So now you remember me, eh?" He sniggered, shaking his head.

"Well… no…" Gauche blushed. "Blaze told me about you…"

"Oh? And did she mention my good looks?"

"Like hell you even have good looks!"

Thunderland laughed. Gauche glared at him for a moment, then giggled with him. Perhaps he wasn't as bad as he thought.

"All right, then, let's start with the basics." The Doctor sat down on the floor, and Gauche sat down on the bed. "What do you remember so far?"

And Gauche answered without hesitation. He was confused at how differently Thunderland treated him from the other doctors. He treated him as an equal, as someone whose thoughts were as equally important as his own. He tried to somehow decipher the Doctor's thoughts. Thunderland jumped from one topic to another, from Amberground's complex history to the simple difference between pink and fuchsia. Whenever Gauche thought that he had finally cracked Thunderland's code, the Doctor switched to a new topic. And on and on it went.

In the course of their random discussion, Gauche had reached over and drank the soup Thunderland had prepared for him. He smiled as the hot liquid trickled down his throat and satisfy his stomach's rebellion. He gasped for more, and the Doctor had told him to eat the bread first before they start with a heavier set of food.

After about three hours, Thunderland had to go back to Akatsuki for work. For the first time, Gauche was sad to see a Doctor leave his cell. Thunderland noticed this and, as a sort of parting gift, he gave Gauche a bag full of food the albino can imagine – tasty bread, muffins, even some cupcakes and sweets accompanied with bottles of clean water.

"Just consume them in moderation, okay?" He had told Gauche in a hurried whisper. "So that the guards won't notice."

"I promise," he muttered, smiling. "A-and… Doctor?"

"Call me Thunderland, please."

"Thunderland. Will I see you some time soon?" He pleaded, his purple eyes full of expectation.

Thunderland grinned. "Of course."

And in a minute, he had walked out of Gauche's cell. The end of his lab coat disappeared behind the door.

* * *

"Get up," the guard roared, banging a steel rod through Gauche's bars.

"I'm up, already, jeez!" Gauche snapped back, rubbing his eyes and sighing. He reached for a bottle of water and downed it in one gulp.

"Are you answering me?!"

"O-of course not," he muttered, feigning fear.

"Good. I got some news for you." The guard grinned maliciously from outside his cell. "A certain someone has offered a nice sum to adopt you. Isn't that nice?"

Gauche paled. He had always prayed for a kind of adoption, for some kind of savior to wrench him out of that goddamned place. But today, it was his worst nightmare. With this adoption, he might never see Dr. Thunderland Jr. again.

"Is… is this certain someone here now?" He asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah. He's waiting for you at the end of the hall. He's really impatient. Now get dressed and we'll let you out."

The albino walked around, dazed, as he put on what clean clothes he had. He put on some shoes and shrugged on a jacket, feeling disbelief and a cold dread. When he had found him, he was gone. They would never be able to meet again.

"Hurry up!" The guard barked, and Gauche picked up the pace. In two minutes, he was standing outside his cell, squinting as he walked. Before he went out, he threw the bag of food Thunderland gave him to Blaze's cell. He hoped she would benefit from it like he had.

"There he is."

Gauche squinted as he was pushed roughly into the next room. The harsh light made his eyes ache and water so suddenly. But the man waiting for him made his heart stop.

"Hello, Gauche," Dr. Thunderland Jr. said, smiling kindly. He had abandoned his lab coat and was sporting casual clothes. "I'm here to take you home."

Gauche Suede followed him out the building, nervous and excited at the same time. He had a new home. A new Owner. A new friend. And it was Dr. Thunderland Jr.

"You wanna eat something?" The Doctor asked, looking over his shoulder. "As a kind of celebration for your freedom."

"Y-yes, please!" Gauche answered shyly.

Thunderland laughed. _There was that smile again,_ Gauche thought blissfully, joy overwhelming him as he felt the corner of his lips tug upward in a hopeful smile of his own.

* * *

**A/N: CAN I GET A D'AAAAAAAW AND A FAV AND A REVIEW? :'3**


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